Wake Up Everyone.....NEW

[SpeckledSlab]

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals ........very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.

I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...

[BuckeyeCrappie]

[BuckeyeCrappie]

[BuckeyeCrappie]

[BuckeyeCrappie]

[BuckeyeCrappie]

[SpeckledSlab]

A couple was married 60 years. They kept no secrets from each other. The wife, however, had a shoebox that she told her husband to never open, which he didn’t. But when the wife was dying, the man asked if he could now look inside. She said yes. In it, he found two crocheted dolls and $20,000. He asked her about it. “My grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage is to never argue. She said if I ever got angry with you, I should keep quiet and crochet a doll.” The husband was moved to tears, for only two dolls were in the box. “But, Honey, what about the money? “Oh,” she said, “that’s what I made from selling all the other dolls.”

[keeferfish]

[SpeckledSlab]

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em?'

[Rollingrock]