Wake Up Everyone.....NEW

[SpeckledSlab]

An elderly couple were having dinner at another couple's house and after their meal, the wives left the table to go to the kitchen.

The two elderly gents were talking, and one says: "Last night we went out to a fabulous new restaurant. I'd highly recommend it."

The other man says: "What's the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thinks long and hard with a furrowed brow, finally saying: "Ah, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"

His friend replies: "A carnation?"

"No, no. The other one," the man says. His friend suggest "The poppy?"

"No, no, no" growls the man. "You know - the one that is red and has thorns."

His friend says: "Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes! Thank you!" the first man says. He then turns toward the kitchen and yells: "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

["D"]

An elderly couple were having dinner at another couple's house and after their meal, the wives left the table to go to the kitchen.

The two elderly gents were talking, and one says: "Last night we went out to a fabulous new restaurant. I'd highly recommend it."

The other man says: "What's the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thinks long and hard with a furrowed brow, finally saying: "Ah, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"

His friend replies: "A carnation?"

"No, no. The other one," the man says. His friend suggest "The poppy?"

"No, no, no" growls the man. "You know - the one that is red and has thorns."

His friend says: "Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes! Thank you!" the first man says. He then turns toward the kitchen and yells: "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Wish it was less truthful. But still funny.

[Retired2Fish]

[SpeckledSlab]

A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.
She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away, complaining and criticizing throughout the process.

When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had stolen from the store.
The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches."

The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "Nine, but what do you care about that?"

The judge patiently said, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."

As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long suffering husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak.

The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?"

The husband said, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."

[tlefire]

[tlefire]

[BuckeyeCrappie]

[BuckeyeCrappie]

[BuckeyeCrappie]

[SpeckledSlab]

A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on her cell phone.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."