Thread: April 1st Hat Rack joke thread. - contest ends, you guessed it, April 1st

One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole. Suddenly a loud voice from above exclaimed “there are no fish down there”.

He walked several yards away, drilled another hole and once again the voice exclaimed “there are no fish down there.” Taking a swig of beer he moved his gear another 30:yards and drilled another hole. Once again the voice exclaimed “ there are no fish down there either. Looking skyward he asked “God is that you?” “No you idiot,” the voice Replied, “I’m the rink manager”.

A policeman had worked a very long shift and was exhausted. He went home at about three AM and all he could think about was going to sleep. He goes to the bedroom and he is so tired he doesn’t turn the light on and just drops his clothes off in the floor. It is very dark and just as he is about to fall in the bed his wife says honey could you run to the store and get a loaf of bread so I can fix you French Toast in the morning. He was exhausted but he picked the clothes off the floor and puts them on. He goes down to the Convenience Store down the street. The clerk who knew him said you finally got a different job. The policeman said no but I wish. Why do you ask? The clerk says because you are wearing a Fireman’s Uniform!

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.......she hugged me.

Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!


Sent from my iPhone using Crappie.com Fishing mobile app

Blonde on one side of the river yells to the blonde on the other side, "How do you get to the other side of the River"

She yells back "You are on the other side"

A fisherman came in with a giant Bass that was longer than his arm and real heavy. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen hand sized Crappie. The second fisherman looked at the Bass, turned to the first fisherman, and said, “Only caught one, eh?”

Why are fish poorly educated?
All the schools are below C level.

A man hires a blonde to paint stripes down the middle of a road, giving her one simple rule: she must paint at least four miles per day to keep the job.

On the first day, she absolutely crushes it—eight miles! The boss is blown away.

The second day, she paints four miles. Not as impressive, but still meeting the requirement.

On the third day, she only manages two miles. The boss raises an eyebrow but figures maybe she’s just tired.

By the fourth day, she barely scrapes out one mile. Frustrated, the boss finally asks, “What’s going on? You started off amazing! Why are you slowing down so much?”

The blonde wipes her forehead and sighs, “Well, I’m getting farther and farther away from the paint bucket!”