Thread: Blue Skeeter Eulogy

I have been thinking about my Dad a lot this past week. When I finally came to grips with the reality of Dad’s death, I thought to myself, “How can Dad’s life message be conveyed in a small funeral home pamphlet?” A few words cannot express all the love and knowledge that Dad has given us! This is my attempt to capture more of that. The real legacy of Dad will be the continued actions of love and compassion in our lives for everyone that he has touched.
Dad spent the first 19 years of his life as a son and brother. He was the first of three children born to Junior Eugene Shanks and Roberta Marie (Clayton) Shanks. Dad was born on Friday February 29th in 1952. The law of averages tells us that you have a chance of one in 1,461 to be born on Leap Day. So he was unique from the beginning. Dad loved the fact that he was a leap year baby. He always remarked how young he was according to his “real” birthdays.
Grandma and Grandpa Shanks did not have a lot of money when Dad and Eddie were kids. I have heard many a story about how they would crawl around in the yard looking for BB’s to re-shoot because they could not afford to buy new ones. I even think that there is one of those big hills that goes uphill both ways somewhere around here in Dearborn. For them money never mattered. The one thing that was important in their household was family! Holidays and Sunday dinners were special and expected.
The next 43 years of his life Dad spent as a husband, a father, and a grandfather. During those 43 years he had one wife, two sons, two daughters-in-law, and four grandchildren. Dad also worked 40 years and one day for the same company. Stability, hard work, family first, and love are sometimes hard to find in today’s world, but these are all of the words I use to describe my Dad. Dad spent the last two years of his life working as an independent contractor. He was excited that he had 52 weeks of vacation each year with his new job.
Growing up Dad and Mom had high expectations for Timmy and I. They expected us to always do what was right. They expected us to work hard. When you started something you had to finish it. And they taught us that you always showed respect. Dad taught us to never, ever wear your hat at the dinner table! Dad also taught us that you never start a fight, but it was always OK to finish one if you needed to. Dad also believed that a swift kick in the pants was sometimes needed to help you remember how to follow the family rules. On occasion Timmy and I made Dad act out on that belief. Timmy, move your hand!
You could always count on Dad to be at your game. He never, ever missed any of our sporting events growing up. I played football throughout college and Dad only missed two of my games…they were in the country of Sweden, so he had a good excuse! More recently he would attend the events of his four grandkids. Whether it was to watch Caleb on the wrestling mat, take Karlie to a softball tournament, or to watch TJ and Tyson play baseball…Dad was always there. He loved his grandkids and was very proud of each one of them.
Boy could Dad whistle! His whistle was designed to announce his arrival at those sporting events. Dad’s whistle was also used when he needed to get your attention to tell you to “get tough” or to “play lower”. The whistle was also used from the front porch to tell Timmy and I that it was time to come home from the neighbors or that Mom had dinner ready. I know that many here in attendance today know and love Dad’s whistle.
Our parents valued our education. Dad and Mom both made sure that Timmy and I had opportunities that they did not have growing up. Dad and Mom made sure that we both had the opportunity to go to college. One of the proudest moments that I have ever had was when both Dad and Mom attended my dissertation defense when I earned my doctorate degree.
Dad loved to hunt and fish. I have many, many cherished memories surrounding the great outdoors. Dad was not a trophy hunter or a sport fisherman. His motto was “If it’s brown…it’s down and if you can catch it…you can fry it!” He passed this love of the outdoors onto Timmy and me and onto his grandkids. All too recently Dad, Timmy, Uncle Eddie, Caleb, Matt Robinson, and I enjoyed a two-day deer hunt at Swan Lake National Wildlife Refuge in North Central Missouri. This was literally days before Dad’s AML diagnosis. In typical Dad fashion he shot a little buck, but as his story always went, “All he could see was horns!” We will cherish that trip and those memories forever.
Dad knew everything, or at least I thought so. If I was about to make a big decision, If I needed advice on a car repair, or if I needed help finishing a basement . . . or four, Dad was always there to lend a hand.
Dad was a big man with an even bigger heart. Mom says one of his finest qualities that attracted her to him was that he was a very kind man. Dad and Mom met at a North Platte basketball game where Dad gave up his seat to Mom so she could sit down. 43 years, two kids, several pets, and a mortgage later…I guess it worked out.
Dad was also not a complainer. I have never heard Dad speak ill of anyone. He recently spent almost three weeks in the hospital fighting this awful disease and all I heard him grumble about was the fact that he wasn’t able to drive around to enjoy the two dollar gas.
Dad was a great friend. Dad was a great husband. Dad was a great brother. Dad was a great uncle. Dad was a great Grandpa. Most of all…Dad was a great Dad.
Dad loved all of us! He was never one for hugs and kisses but all those closest to him know that his actions spoke louder than his words. If there is one thing that I have learned over the last month it is to cherish the time that you have with your friends and loved ones! We never know what tomorrow has in store for us. I challenge you to slow down! I promise you that you will never, ever look back and say, “You know I should have spent more time at work.” You only have a finite number of days on this earth, so please spend them wisely.
Please when you think of my Dad, think of all the good times that he had with each one of you. Please continue to tell your own stories of how Dad impacted your life. That will always be the best tribute to Dad! That will be the legacy of Clifford Eugene Shanks! He would not have wanted it any other way. Thank you.