Thread: Pro, Pro Staff, Semi-Pro...

I never understood golf anyway.

I'll stick to floating around in an aluminum can and thrashing the water with a 12' crappie pole.

I have golfed all over the world. I have searched for the elusive Golf, and all I keep finding are the little sucker's eggs all over. They are BARELY edible.

And I accept as Treasurer of ANY organization. You just never know when some likker crazed, insane redneck will come upon an unplanned largesse and decide that giving is the better part of valor, or some other confused cliche that he gets mixed up. And I'm telling you, I can USE the money, Jack!

For the record, I am going fishing Thursday. I am going with two old high school buddies (dang near the only two left). We are not going to try and catch fish. We are going to try and NOT drown. But if a single 7 inch crappie is caught, I promise to TRY and remember to get his picture so that Tony can get his daily fix of fish pitchers. "Lord give me this day my daily 7" crappie. You can give the bread to someone more needy. Amen".

Originally Posted by Tony McCall

I was reading some of RCCs writings the other day and immediately recognized a fellow anti-pro. The anti-pro is capable of singlehandedly bringing the bite to a complete stop on any body of water under any conditions. Just read the chronicles of RCCs vacations, otherwise productive bodies of water refuse to yield anything but Grinnell, Green Carp and Drum when he’s in town.

The anti-pro is a veritable expert in everything that has to do with crappie fishing… except catching fish! We know which color you should use on which day. We know how deep to fish in the spring, and how fast to troll after the spawn.

We know the best approach for a broad variety of weather situations. If you’ve got a question, we have an answer! We know exactly what YOU should do to catch fish… We just can’t seem to figure out what WE should do to catch fish.

Very well said Tony. I have given this much thought and I think my response, due to the magnitude and seriousness of the subject, may take more than one post to fully cover. I am, however, much encouraged about the many LOSERs coming out of the closet. Yes, we may be different, but it is nothing to be ashamed of and we should learn to wear the badge of LOSER proudly. I think in this post, I will work on defining a PRO LOSER. There are two kinds of PRO LOSERs, Professional and Promotional. The most of us are merely Promotional LOSERS. These LOSERS have no fish to place on the tailgate, no full coolers to take pictures of and no glowing reports about great catches of fish. The Promotional LOSER will buy the best equipment they can afford, to illustrate that they are good enough to not catch fish, even while using quality equipment. We will also attend crappie camps and Promote not catching fish to all that will listen hoping the whole time that the bite will turn off and all the great fish catchers at camp will end up with no fish in the cooler. However, being merely a Promotional LOSER , and not a Professional LOSER, you will on rare occasion find yourself with a whole cooler full of nice ones in the boat. You will scratch your head in a puzzled manner not knowing how those fish got in your cooler suspecting the whole time that some other LOSER had slipped those fish into your cooler while you weren't looking. So, my word to all of you Promotional LOSERS, don't be discouraged with a full cooler of fish occasionally, it happens to the best of us. If you find yourself with fish in the cooler more often than not, I would suggest changing techniques and try to fix it before it becomes too great a problem. I did find myself in such a dilemma at Dardanelle. Being the lake it is, I was faced with a challenge. I was feeling pretty good about myself when the first person I spoke with said we should have been there the weekend before, that they had cleaned 50 over a pound each, but the bite had ceased. This feeling soon departed as slab crappie after slab crappie bent our poles. After 2 days of this, I then quit spider rigging with minnows and started spider rigging with liver knowing that crappie hate liver. This resulted in an unimaginable catfish fiasco.



Fortunately bad weather moved in on day four and it took much of the pressure off. I feel I can now go on to the Professional LOSER. The Professional LOSER possesses most of the qualities above, but he is good enough and has achieved such a reputation that he can make money doing it. He becomes recognizable no matter how he attempts to disguise himself. When he arrives at the lake in his beat up 82 ford pickup towing his 74 LeekOcraft boat, heads will turn. He may just as well be driving the newest high dollar pickup and towing the nicest wrapped boat with LOSER written on the side. As he launches, boats across the lake will start to migrate his directions and simultaneously all rod tips across the lake will cease to bend. The boats across the lake will soon surround the Professional LOSER where he will then reach down into his boat and drag out his ego reach net. He will then pass it by each boat and the occupants will reach into their pockets and drop money, or items of value into the net, including food items since the net has never had fish slime on it. After the net is filled the Professional LOSER will load up his LeekOcraft and depart from the area where happy fishing will soon resume with bent poles and taught lines. The Professional LOSER given any type of equipment new, or old, has the ability to not catch fish even during the spawn, with a full moon, no wind, the water just dingy enough to conceal your approach, and coordinates that have consistently produced daily limits for over a decade.

To most of you, it seems easy to be a LOSER, but even having been born with this skill, to be really good at it is a daily process that must be worked on and honed if you desire to be one of the best. I do feel for those fishermen who not often get to experience the satisfaction of being a LOSER and I will consider taking those who wish to experience it on a guide trip. I cannot guarantee you will not catch fish, but I will do my best to make it not happen.

You boys ain't right......!!!!!! But this is a darn good read for entertainment....

That settles it! I nominate RCC to be the Public Relations Officer for the LOSERs. HE can tell it like no one else can. We will trust him to publicize which lake we will terrorize, umm I mean fish, next.

With his help, perhaps we can all elevate ourselves from promotional LOSERs to professional LOSERs. When he announces our fishing plans for the weekend, folks will line up on the boat ramp to contribute to our coffers (this should make Buckrub quite happy.)

With enough PR work, we won't even have to launch our boats!!!!

Tony, I will have to 2nd the nomination of RCC as PRO of LOSERS! I've never fished with him (which may be a blessing or I might be nominated the PRO of LOSERS) but he does have the gift of gab and seems to me to be the King of the Keyboards.

Keep it going , I like reading this. Randall you should get a job writing BS , cause your a pro at it!

good lawd yall got too much time on yalls' hands !! there's this site called youtube where you can watch useless and sometimes usefull junk to pass the time !!