I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of scotch and put it in the bicycle basket. As i was about to leave, i thought to myself that if i fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So, I drank all the scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.


Husband and wife have a fight. The wife calls her mom up and says, "Mom, he fought with me again, I am coming to live with you". the Mom says "NO, darling, he must pay for his mistakes. I'm coming to live with you." Moral of the story.........never fight with your wife.