When I got ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to the National Rifle Association about gun control wackos, I did as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the scanner.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions a little clearer for seniors.

I still don't think I look that bad.