Elderly lady decides to pamper herself on her birthday with an overnight stay in one of the most expensive and fancy hotels in New York. When she checked out the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.. She came unglued and demanded to know why it was so high. "Well, first it's our standard rate, breakkfast is free, we have an Opympic sized pool and conference center second to none." The old lady informs him that she didn't use any of that stuff, but he informed her that she could have because it was there. He goes on, "And, we have some of the best entertainers performing in our hotel and free valet parking." She informed him that she didn't go to a show, and took a cab. He informed her that they were there for her use, anyway. Very upset, she agrees, and writes the man a check. He looks at it and says, "Mam, this is only for $50.00." She says, "Yes, that's correct, I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me." Taken back, the clerk said, "Madam, I most certainly DID NOT sleep with you." "Too bad. I was here. You could have." Moral: Don't mess with little old ladies.