Wake up everyone…

[BuckeyeCrappie]

[DockShootinJack]

Found this gem out in the wild today.

[BroKenneth]

Sent from my iPad using Crappie.com Fishing mobile app

[BroKenneth]

Sent from my iPad using Crappie.com Fishing mobile app

[BobC]

Another batch of good ones! Thanks for the smiles.
Bob

[Clint]

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding...

..."Afternoon ma'am. May I see your license and registration?" The old lady wordlessly hands the officer these items. As the officer reaches for the papers, he takes observation of the old woman.

She wasn't just old; she was very old. Must have been in her mid 90's. The fact that she was speeding so comfortably was a surprise to the officer. While reading the license over, he notices that this old woman has a license to carry a concealed weapon.
For no other reason than curiosity, the officer asks if the woman is carrying now. She obliges and reaches for her purse and reveals a 22 caliber pistol.

This surprises and entertains the officer, for he couldn't have conceived that this tiny old woman would be packing heat. He felt that she may have another, so he asks her. She nods her head in agreement and reaches for the center compartment between the driver's seat and passenger's seat and reveals a snub nosed pistol.
The officer was amazed to think of this 90+ y.o. woman driving around with these guns. On another hunch he asks simply, "Are there any more?"

The old woman nods and says there is only one more and removes a colt 45 from the glove compartment.
The officer's curiosity had been peaked but not satisfied. He asks the old woman, "Lady, what in the world are you so afraid of?"

She turns to him, looks him dead in the eyes and says, "Not a Gosh darn thing."

[BuckeyeCrappie]

[Barnacle Bill]

I heard the first one daily when growing up.

[RogerA]

[DockShootinJack]

I heard the first one daily when growing up.

Heard it pretty often myself.