Wake up everyone…

[BuckeyeCrappie]

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At their very first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob replied, “Girlfriend? She's my wife!” They’re knocked over, but continue to ask: “So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?” “I lied about my age,” Bob replied. “What? Did you tell her you were only 50?”

Bob smiled and said, “No, I told her I was 90.”

[LA CrappieMaster]

Sent from my iPhone using Crappie.com

[BobC]

Pretty good one, right there!
Bob

[BuckeyeCrappie]

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Switzerland . As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
“These,” she explained, “are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.” She then asked, “What do you do in America with your old goats?”
A spry old gentleman answered, “They send us on bus tours!”

[BuckeyeCrappie]

Oli moved to a new town and started a ranch. It turns out that the whole town was Catholic. It was during lent and every Friday, the people smelled beef cooking at Oli's farm. So everyone in the town decides they need to do something about this. So they all ask Olie if he wants to become Catholic, and Olie was new, so he wanted to fit in. So he does. When he was baptised, the pastor sprinkled holy water on him he said "Oli, you were born a Methodist, you were raised a Methodist, now you're Catholic" But every Friday, they still smelled beef coming from Oli's farm. So they went over and they saw Oli sprinkling salt on his cows saying "You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, now you're fish"

[BuckeyeCrappie]

Two elderly ladies sit at the back of the tour bus on their way home from a day of playing the slots in Las Vegas. Its night time and the as the bus rolls along ,one of the ladies walks to the front of the bus and asks the bus driver if he would like some peanuts. The driver accepts her kind offer and she hands him a handful of peanuts. About an hour later she goes up and offers the driver more peanuts. the driver accepts but asks why don't you ladies eat them yourselves? She answers OH NO we can't eat peanuts. They get under our dentures. We just suck the chocolate off them

[chaunc]

[chaunc]

[chaunc]

[Barnacle Bill]