If I was to tell you all the balls I drop from time to time we wouldn't talk fishing very much. And like you, I beat myself up over it, badly at times. Right now I'm trying to work full time, get the newer house ready to move into - and there's a bunch to still be done, and move , then get the older house ready for sale. Other than that I sit on my thumbs. I haven't posted very much, and have basically missed the spawn, but I'm making progress and it will be done soon. I'm not young enough to do this without being sore beyond belief for a while afterward, so getting behind the wheel actually has therapeutic value. I recently tied 75 maribou for someone, and they canceled before i got them done, and I was busy working on them. You do good work, and have way more to do than I could ever handle, so don't beat yourself up too bad. Things happen. Vent away any time you like, we all need to do that too. Better days ahead............