I've been researching this myself as our native cane around here grows to about 16 ft max with a base diameter of 1 inch or less. I've settled on "yellow groove" bamboo. Grows to about 30-35 ft and has a 2 inch diameter stem or "culm' as it's called. This seems to do pretty well in our area which is zone 6b or 7 depending on the source. Most of the cold hardy bamboos are the "timber" variety which grow to be pretty large. Note though that it takes a number of years for the canes to grow this large. You won't plant it this year and have 2" dia. canes to cut this fall. I think if you can bushhog at least a 50 ft perimeter around the grove twice a year you can keep it pretty well contained. Most of the clumping varieties don't do well any colder than zone 8.