Thread: The Crappie Ninja episode I

Come on with next episode. The MS board is boring so jumped over here. Creek u might be right,yall could have WB'jr. Over there

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Up till now the crappie had eluded my offering of a secret jig I had received from the CNM a few weeks back. Wishing not to reveal the identity of this secret bait, I will call it the Nimr Pecial which is Ninja code only decipherable by Crappie Ninjas and those in training to be one. I had dangled the Nimr Pecial into the same bush as the CNM without even a hit. Perhaps sensing my discouragement the CNM turned to me and said "young glass hoppa, tie this on" and he handed me another Nimr Pecial. As a Ninja in training, I obediently pulled up my jig to tie the new one on. In one hand, I held my jig a Nimr Pecial and in the other I held another Nimr Pecial, perfectly identical. What was this? Was I to cut off a new jig that had never been bit then tie on the exact same jig and expect to catch fish? I made the tie then dropped the jig into the bush and the line just kept going. I was hooked into my first slab of the day. After stuggling for quite some time I wrestled the fish to the top of the water and into the boat and proudly looked at my prize. Not the biggest fish I have ever caught, but a nice one. Surely this would impress the CNM. The CNM looked at the fish and said "fish close to minner size, young glass hoppa. Fish must measure on board 10 inches to fulfill honorable place in fish box" he said as he placed the fish on the board. The fish wiggled and flopped but the tail finally laid down, just touching 10 inches. A KEEPER, I had caught A KEEPER I said as I jumped around in the sampan which is not a good thing to do on lake Nimrod with hurricane force winds, but my joy was short lived as the the CNM tossed the fish over the side. My joy became anger and I loudly proclaimed my disagreement with the release of the fish. "That fish was 10 inches" I said and the CNM replied, "young glass hoppa, today we not use inches to measure, we use metric system. Fish must be 254 mm to have place in honorable fish box so fish glass hoppa, fish. Learn old Chinese proverb young glass hoppa, Jig in air only catch flying fish." This made sense to me so I dropped my jig into the water. One thing puzzled me so I asked the CNM the question, "Why, with 2 exact Nimr Pecials one would catch and the other did not"? The CNM replied "young glass hoppa, you try my patience with your questions, but this I will answer. Young glass hoppa Nimr Pecial only weigh 1.7718452 grams, CNM Nimr Pecial weigh 3.54369039 grams. To catch fish, one must place jig on crappie nose." "How did you know" I asked, "you could not see my jig head since it was covered by the tube". The CNM with a sigh replied "young glass hoppa, you try my patience. One must be aware of surroundings to catch elusive fish. The curvature of line in rising sun indicate jig not pulling line down to fish. Jig must be on fish nose to catch. Now fish glass hoppa, fish have you already forgotten old chinese proverb Jig in air.....". "I know I know, Only catch flying fish" I replied as my 3.54369039 gram Nimr Pecial hit the water. The Crappie Ninja Master continued to add slab after slab to the cooler and at one time the ThuThump of the catch sounded like a flock of possums attempting to cross I40 at NLR during rush hour. ThuThump, ThuThump the sound went on and suddenly all ThuThumps ceased and the lake was overcome with an eerie silence. I turned in my seat as the CNM said "19 slabs have I put into the honorable fish box, how many have you"? I sheepishly replied 7, fudging the number slightly so I wouldn't be so embarrased. "Young Glass Hoppa, today you catch limit of slab while I instruct you in the way of the Crappie Ninja" the CNM replied while cutting of the Nimr Pecial and tieing on buckwheat...


The Crappie Ninja, to be continued in part IIIII subtitled Buckwheat and the Storm

This is hilarious. Best thing on here in a long time.

very good. keep it coming.

This is great, Young Glasshoppa. Keep em' comin'.

This orinental fable does have a few bits of a truth mixed in . Weed hopper you miss really good time this sunrise. The Crappie hop in sampan faster I toss out! Even a Weed hopper limit out Confucius say.

Gettin' better and better.

"Young glass hoppa fish with Nimr Pecial while Crappie Ninja Master fish with buckwheat till all limits are reached" the CNM proclaimed. No, it cannot be true I thought. No one to my knowledge has ever caught a crappie on buckwheat. It has been rumored among the crappie circles that buckwheat not only is the ugliest jig ever created by man, it has also been marinated in crappie repellent for 2 weeks and a non-fish catching curse placed on it by a voodoo witch doctor. I was overjoyed the CNM would not catch another fish and I would finally catch up to his numbers so we began to fish again. As we positioned over another brush pile I felt the wind change and with it came a slightly cooler temperature and a fresh smell. I glanced in the direction of the wind and was greeted by the view of a sheet of water heading across the lake toward the sampan. "It is fixing to rain" I proclaimed, to which the CNM replied "The smell of rain sometime awaken a sleeping man" . What did this mean I pondered as water poured through the vents of my crappie.com hat and into my Columbia fishing shirt which I had chosen to wear this trip instead of my usual red ninja head band and white pajamas. Suddenly the meaning of the phrase came to me. If you can see the rain or smell it and are not moving toward the ramp already, you are fixing to get wet. As the rain poured and we became soaked to the skin, the wind made it's way across the due north and around to the east as the rain blew over us. As soon as it had passed, the storm began to thunder and make it's way back across the lake traveling toward the direction it had first come from. Let's go I said but the CNM replied "glass hoppa must face many challenge on path to Crappie Ninja. Fish bite evely day, but rainy night in Georgia always get you down". I pondered this saying with a back ground symphony saying thuthump splash,thuthump splash. What did the CNM mean was it some Ninja saying or was he merely singing a line of Ray Charles music? Then it dawned on me...WHAT!!!!! THUTHUMP. There should be no thuthump with buckwheat tied on and I slowly began to turn in my seat as I heard THU. THUMP the sound finished as another slab hit the sampan bottom with a slightly nauseated look on its face. As I gazed at the nauseated 12 inch crappie, which had been enticed to bite, the fish was released over the side with the expanation "fish no measure using metric system. CNM still only have 19 fish in honorable box, he he he he he". I was then assaulted by a cacaphony of thuthumps and watching, I saw crappie, bream, catfish, and drum fall to buckwheat all with the same nauseated look on their faces as though they were forced to ingest some foul tasting medicine. I even became nauseated my self looking at buckwheat. "How do you do it Master" I asked? "Focus chi on fish young glass hoppa. Will fish to become one with hook and line. How many have you now glass hoppa? " Eleven" I replied fudging the number even more. "FISH GLASS HOPPA, FISH" the CNM shouted while gesturing angrily with the 12 foot BnM. "Today you catch limit".

to be continued in The Crappie Ninja part IIIIII subtitle Reaching the Limits.