Jokes

[Cmj]

Organic


-------------------------





My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market.


I went and looked around and couldn't find any.





So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These


vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any


poisonous chemicals?"





"The produce guy looked at me and said, "No. You'll have to


do that yourself..."



Hahaha! Golf clap!!

[LowePro]

hahahahahaha

[D10]

Better!

[Cmj]

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?

Man:Usually about 3
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?


Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary !)


Woman: And how long have you been drinking?


Man: About 20years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your
spending each month at $450.
In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the
past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man:Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money
could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after
accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have
now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?

Woman: No
Man: Where's your Ferrari?

[crappie cowboy]

Lol, now that's some good'ems right there....

[D10]

That's a good-un!

[GoTennTitans]

A blind woman is working the register at a Bass Pro Shop. A customer walks up and hands the blind woman a fishing rod and she scans it for him. As he's getting his wallet out, he accidentally drops it and farts as he bends over to pick it up. "That'll be $40 for the fishing rod, $15 for the duck call and $5 for that can of Catfish Charlie that you've obviously opened. You can't fool me, sir" she says with a smirk.

That's a Perry Richard, from Bradley County, special! GTT

[Cmj]

Two Arkansas rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

[Cmj]

Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and walked across the water to get some more bait. After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait...so he got up and walked across the water. After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom. The first priest turned to the second priest and said, "I guess we should have told him where the rocks were..."

[GoTennTitans]

Two Arkansas rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

They should have marked an X in the bottom of the boat so they would mark their lucky spot! GTT