Thread: WASHUNGA RAMP CLOSED

So I had the day off today and went to Kaw. Like Ledge said earlier, it was closed. Here's where the story gets weird. This is hard to believe and apologize in advance if I offend anyone, but here is what I was told after going there today. A man met me at the locked gate and said, "someone shi@ (rhymes with hit) in the parking lot, and then someone stepped in it, called the corp of engineers to complain, and the corp closed the ramp down." He said "the corp doesn't have the funding to install a port o potty." He apologized and I left in amazement. This new revelation has me asking several questions. I'm not sure of the most politically correct or appropriate way to refer to the word "shi@," so I will refer to it as "turd/tùrds," "crap," or "poo." #1. To the person who deposited the tùrds in the parking lot: Seriously? There is a wooded area right next to the parking lot. Are you too lazy to walk 30 yards to lay your tùrds? Are you that inconsiderate of your fellow man that you would crap right next to another vehicle? Quit making things harder on guys that try to do things right and plan ahead. Have a poo strategy next time. Stop being selfish. Contrary to popular belief, the whole world is not your toilet, and you are really not that important. #2. To the person who stepped in the túrds: Okay I get that you had a bad day and I can empathize with you in the fact that from time to time in my occupation I have had poo on me too. Cow poo and people poo. It's not real pleasant but you'll survive. Did you seriously need to call the corp of engineers and report that you stepped on a túrd? I mean, are you scarred for life? Do you call 911 when you have a nosebleed or a headache? How bout you man up and appreciate the fact that you have a new story to tell your grandchildren. Also, how did you not visually see the poo before you stepped in it and entered your vehicle? Are you even sure that it was people poo? Quit being a whine bag and laugh it off next time. #3. To the Corp of Engineers: A bit rash don't you think? I mean, you are in charge of protecting the free world from devastating floods, yet an isolated serial pooper has you upset? Come on, does this truly warrant closing the ramp to one of the most popular winter time fishing spots in Oklahoma? Oh I forgot, "you're in the business of flood control, not recreation." Whoever was on the receiving end of the "I stepped in crap at the Washunga boat ramp" phone call and believed it was serious enough to close the entire park down, needs a remedial course in crisis management. I was at Washunga last week and it was 100% túrd free. Get over yourself and open the gates. Rant Over.

Last time I saw this much excitement over a pile of poo was when I was a sheriff. On high school government day, I was appointed sheriff. Our principal said there would be no election for this one position, because he felt I was the only one to be trusted with the job (previous "sheriffs" had started a lot of trouble). Back to poo. I went out with the real sheriff on several calls. The first one was a burglary at a country store. We got there and found a big dump on the front steps. Sheriff Floyd solved it immediately. He told the store owner that "Dumper" Joe had done it. Apparently Joe always left a dump as his calling card. He would then get arrested and go back to home in his prison cell (he didn't like "outside" life). A later call was to the museum where a drunk college guy took a dump in front of everybody. He explained that he couldn't wait and he at least went behind one of the display cases.
Maybe the "Washunga Dumper" was drunk and couldn't find the woods. Smiley face.
Seriously, something is wrong here, and crapA has a point or two. Wait a minute. How come the guy who comes across this situation has a handle that starts with the four letters that spell you-know-what?