The Retirement Q & A

The Retirement Q&A!
Retirement can be a wonderful thing. It sure is a huge change in one's life, moving from office to home, from keeping hours to keeping yourself busy and having fun. Indeed, retirement has many secrets, which is why it was important for me to ask some 'hard' questions about this phase of life.



Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday


Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.


Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.



Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing
without worrying about getting caught at it




Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.


Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.


Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.



'There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire!'
Groucho Marx



Question:
What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: Idiot


Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.


Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Lunch.




I have never liked working.
To me a job is an invasion of privacy




Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.


Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.


Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing; Saturday & Sunday, I rest.


I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work.
So I do it three or four times a day.

i do the last one a lot

The money's no better in retirement but the hours are, and I give my wife something to do all day.....keeps her busy!:Rofl

You listed all the good things but one of the main bad thing is we don't get any vacations days.

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Originally Posted by Barnacle Bill

You listed all the good things but one of the main bad thing is we don't get any vacations days.

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you got a good point....but there are unlimited sick days......

and you can go fishing without the guilt of calling in sick.....

I love being retired. Work has become a nasty 4 letter word to me.

To all the above................AMEN

Very nice PS. You retired guys are killin me. Us working guys are envious.

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Originally Posted by "D"

I love being retired. Work has become a nasty 4 letter word to me.

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What do you mean "has become" you don't have to do it anymore!
I, on the other hand, definitely call it a nasty 4 letter word cause I'm still doing it!! Unfortunately, I'll be doing it for another 11 years at least! :banghead

To those who have to still work I feel sorry for, but until your day comes keep working hard and making plenty money and pay a lot of taxes to support us that don't.
:biggrin
God Bless,
"gene"

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Originally Posted by prefers shiners

you got a good point....but there are unlimited sick days......

and you can go fishing without the guilt of calling in sick.....

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i just call in and tell my boss im fishing,haha:Rofl:Rofl:Rofl

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Originally Posted by Redge

Very nice PS. You retired guys are killin me. Us working guys are envious.

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I totally understand....I worked for 55 years straight after finishing high school.....not to mention all I worked while in school....retired at 72......

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Crappie Stalker

What do you mean "has become" you don't have to do it anymore!
I, on the other hand, definitely call it a nasty 4 letter word cause I'm still doing it!! Unfortunately, I'll be doing it for another 11 years at least! :banghead

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I try not to say that word, it's the worse cuss word I know. I guess I should have said the thought of going back to work sickens me. And you yungens need to work. Somebody got to pay the gubmint so SSI and Medicare are around for a while longer.

I agree with all the above,I retired in Feb this year. Its great!!!

Retired 12 years ago. Will vouch for all of the above, plus some more. Just don't/can't find time to list them all. :Rofl

Attachment 210340

HaHaHa.:Rofl

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Originally Posted by "D"

HaHaHa.:Rofl

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let me know when U have had enuf........

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Originally Posted by prefers shiners

I totally understand....I worked for 55 years straight after finishing high school.....not to mention all I worked while in school....retired at 72......

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I hear you Bruce, I'll probably be the same way only because I want to. I need to get away from here after a couple of days, besides I crave the mental challenge of what I do for a living. It must likely would be different if I lived in a subdivision and didn't have much to do. The only time I get to relax is when we're out of town. Can't relax around here, I feel guilty.

Only mental challenge I want is..........where am I going fishing in the morning.....what do I want for lunch and supper.......stuff like that. I worked hard, planned, saved, made good investments and I retired at age 53......am 70 now and still loveing it. Don't live in a subdivision....I have 241 acres that I live on and.........I don't feel guilty about nothing lol.

I'm somewhat different I guess. First thing in the morning after getting up is do the Sudoku puzzle from the previous day's newspaper. Love the challenge with numbers, only do the 4/5 or 5/5 difficult levels. I too worked hard, planned, and saved as well. All is paid for, I make payments on nothing. Could have retired many years ago if I wanted to. Not many folks can't say that.

I've been retired for two years, one month, and twenty seven days. Have not had a bad day yet. :highfive

It just keeps getting better Tony

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Originally Posted by "G"

It just keeps getting better Tony

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Yup.....Yup....and Yup.....

Someone said everyday was Saturday, except for Sunday. I really don't care which Saturday it is as long as it ain't the one following Sunday. Only because it used to be
called Monday and I'll not live long enough to forget that. Today I got ready to take the trash out in the morning for pick up...........and tomorrow is my second Saturday
of this week. Everyday is a fun day. I enjoyed my work when I was working, but don't really miss it. Once every 3 months we have a dinner at a restaurant and a dozen
or more of the fellers I worked with show up and shoot the bull over a meal. Once a year we have a large gathering of retired folks we meet with and have a catered
lunch with door prizes and fellowship. Some of them folks have gone on to their rewards and some just get another year older. Wife worked with all of them and I
worked with most of them. A different kind of retirement experience I never expected to be a part of.

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Originally Posted by RetiredRR

Someone said everyday was Saturday, except for Sunday. I really don't care which Saturday it is as long as it ain't the one following Sunday. Only because it used to be
called Monday and I'll not live long enough to forget that. Today I got ready to take the trash out in the morning for pick up...........and tomorrow is my second Saturday
of this week. Everyday is a fun day. I enjoyed my work when I was working, but don't really miss it. Once every 3 months we have a dinner at a restaurant and a dozen
or more of the fellers I worked with show up and shoot the bull over a meal. Once a year we have a large gathering of retired folks we meet with and have a catered
lunch with door prizes and fellowship. Some of them folks have gone on to their rewards and some just get another year older. Wife worked with all of them and I
worked with most of them. A different kind of retirement experience I never expected to be a part of.

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You retired from the railroad if I remember right?

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Originally Posted by fishervet

You retired from the railroad if I remember right?

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Now that's funny right there.

He sure did, was in my boat at one of our gatherings at Toledo Bend. Enjoyed it immensely with his stories of his railroad days. I learned a lot about the railroad business during that time we had together, absorbed every bit of it. Joe, hope you make again next time!

Curious what you did for a living "G" ???

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Originally Posted by fishervet

You retired from the railroad if I remember right?

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The thing I like best about the RR is that ol Jimmy Rogers ( The yodeling breakman ) wrote some good songs about them. :HandsClapping

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Originally Posted by kycreek

Curious what you did for a living "G" ???

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I was a State employee....I was the equipment repair supervisor for one of the Forestry commission Districts here in MS. I am a ASE Certified Master Tech. All that means, I was a bulldozer mechanic and ran the shop for a 22 county district. I also worked on all the trucks. My wife was a Engineer for the phone company which was South Central Bell during that time period....AT&T now,and she retired at age 50.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by "G"

I was a State employee....I was the equipment repair supervisor for one of the Forestry commission Districts here in MS. I am a ASE Certified Master Tech. All that means, I was a bulldozer mechanic and ran the shop for a 22 county district. I also worked on all the trucks. My wife was a Engineer for the phone company which was South Central Bell during that time period....AT&T now,and she retired at age 50.

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Thanks "G"....I always wondered that myself......my dad retired from South Central Bell in Jackson after 43 years of service.....at the time of his death he was the oldest living member of the "Telephone Pioneers of America" in Mississippi...I have his forty years of service pen with 8 diamonds that I cherish.....

Thanks Randy, and yes.........wife and I worked for Gulf Colorado & Santa Fe, Atchison Topeka & Santa Fe, and she retired with 36 years.........then I retired from the Burlington Northern & Santa Fe after 30 years. She worked Clerical Administrative and I worked as Telegrapher-Train Order Operator and heavy equipment operator on track and
off track.

Interesting thread reading what everybody does and did for a living.

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Originally Posted by RetiredRR

Thanks Randy, and yes.........wife and I worked for Gulf Colorado & Santa Fe, Atchison Topeka & Santa Fe, and she retired with 36 years.........then I retired from the Burlington Northern & Santa Fe after 30 years. She worked Clerical Administrative and I worked as Telegrapher-Train Order Operator and heavy equipment operator on track and
off track.

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My grandfather worked for the predigital rr. I still have his pocket watch. Not sure what he did for them but i know it was hard work and there was great comraderie. Unlike todays work environment.