Saturday-Burnt Mills-56 crappie.

With the unexpected loss of my wife Christmas Day and still living in a state of misery I figured I could cry on the lake just as well as I can cry at home so I headed out to Suffolk. It was 36 degrees when I got there and only warmed up to 39 with west winds howling and gusting up to 26mph. I fished the west side of the main lake to minimize the winds effect and had good luck doing so. Of the 56 crappie the vast majority were around 10" but I was surprised to catch one at 1lb even and another at 1lb 1oz. (both close to 13")

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Almost all the crappie were caught 25' deep with a few 22' deep. I only threw Kalin's Money jig and had two poles with chartreuse/pearl wasshoppah's hanging over the side tipped with chartreuse crappie nibbles.

The only real break I had from my misery was when I was mad and yelling at the wind. I wish I could say that fishing was good therapy for me but I cannot. I used to hate leaving the lake and dreaded sunset but today I kept looking at the time and wishing that it would pass by faster. I had planned to fish until 4:00 but quit around 2:30.

My friend at work did not believe me but I always texted my wife when I was on my way home from fishing and if I was bringing any home, how many. When I walked into my kitchen she always had the cutting board set up on top of old newspaper, my electric and regular fillet knife sitting next to the board, and a bowl with water in it ready for the fillets. On cold days she always had something hot for me to eat. I was spoiled beyond belief.

This picture is from this past Oct. 5th at Buggs which was the last time I ever fished with my bride. (91 degrees and blue skies) She was such a sport as the picture shows. (this was the first crappie we caught that day) She always said that fishing was my thing but would go with me every once in a while. I really don't think that fishing will every be the same for me again.

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Glad to see you out on the water Tap. I know a lot about what your going through because I lost a son and every time I would even think about hunting I would think about him and break down. I gave up hunting and my hunting business because I couldn't cope with all the thoughts of going hunting with him. Hang in there, it will never go away but it will in time get a little better. Will continue to keep you in my prayers.

Sorry about your loss, Tap.
Glad you had good luck on the lake.
Funny, that down here in Ms, it's too cold to get on the lake.

I too am glad you got out and tried it Tap. Those are some nice fish. It's a shame that it wasn't any fun. I don't think it has anything to do with fishing. I would guess most everything is gonna stink for some time. Even hitting the lottery wouldn't be worth the trouble. Just keep going through the motions of life and see where things take you. Time. Nobody knows how much. We are proud of you and still praying.

Dayton

Once again I would it would be nice to know where the large Speks that a long time ago inhabitted B/M are now hiding.

George, thanks to you we sold a lot of "money colors today". Wishing you the best possible.

Monk and Mrs. Monk

Looks like you found some nice ones deep... Only crappie? I mean did you happen to snag any inferior species?

will keep you in our prayers

The next time you go fishing, stay till sunset. Look at the colors in the sky, and remember that GOD loves you. Prayers are still being made for you and your family.

I'm glad you got out George!!!!! Sounds like the crappie are growing back up to eater size again. Hey George did you catch them more on casting??

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Originally Posted by Percidae_Papermouth

Only crappie? I mean did you happen to snag any inferior species?

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Only crappie. In that sense it was a perfect day.

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Originally Posted by jim.b

Hey George did you catch them more on casting??

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I can only estimate that I caught around 1/3 of them casting.

Thanks to everyone that has prayed for me because I need that more than anything.

Nice job. I know exactly what you are feeling and you are still in my prayers also. My wife was my best fishing partner, but rarely went without her.

Nothing will be the same as it was...but, like eating, sleeping, and working, you will regain an interest in fishing. Don't push it and don't give up--let it happen at its own pace. You are not alone. You're an important part of our lives and we'll be here for you--anxious for your reports and ready to celebrate your success on the water.

Glad to see you got out,we are still praying for you,in 91 i had a problem that set me back for years,could not eat sleep,and when i fish my mind was not into it,it got so bad sad to say but did not want to live but god was their all the time and slowly pull me through it. Sometimes it will even seems that even god is hiding,but at his time he will make his presence known and you will know it,will be praying for you and girls

good report,them fish are deep now and you are good at that game,keep on em.good luck

Nice report and good to hear from you. I'm not even beginning to say I know how you feel, because I can't imagine. However, I have lost 2 step brothers, and a bro in law (all in their 40's) and my father in the last 4 years. As others have suggested, time definitely helps and I know that may be hard for you to fathom right now. That missing piece will never be replaced, but I too believe God allows time to really help heal even the most devastating wounds. Hang in there.

George,

Hang in there. I'm sure it will get better with time.

Keith

You must have had the lake to yourself. Fished from noon to 3 PM today. Only two other boats out. Fished similar water with less production. 18 crappie and 3 yellow perch. Nothing over 11 inches.

Tap,

You will experience many memories of past good times and at first they will be very hard to handle. I lost my son and best fishing buddy 3 years ago, to cancer. Every time I fish one of our old spots I reflect on the times that we fished at that spot together. At first it brought the tears and pain that you are now feeling, but later on, you will feel the comfort that those memories will bring and they will heal much of the misery that now fills you to the breaking point. In a way you re-live those good times, and they will bring warmth to your soul. I fished a place last summer that I haven't been to since Tim was just a little fellow, and the memories came over me in a powerful way, my eyes got blurry and my throat tightened up. At first I felt like I had to get out of there, I was miserable and angry, but then I realized that Tim was still there with me and the anger went away and the thoughts of the past times there flashed in my mind and I knew that Tim was there in a different way, we were both there fishing again and he wouldn't want to see me hurting and angry. The words, "straighten up Dad, this is a special place, don't ruin it", struck me. - - - - We fished that place together that day; it wasn't like it used to be, but it was a great place that day.

In time, this kind of healing will come for you too, it won't come overnight but it will come in its own time. You're doing the right things, so don't give up; you have to give it room to happen.

Every day, I pray for you; we all do.

Bruce

Glad you got out George. I know it was tough. Keep going. You are going through this terrible time in good fashion. Keep going. Just keep going fishing. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Keep going and one day, you will see some peace that God has been trying to show you that you just can't see yet.CF

Good to see that you got on the water and caught several.

Like many others have said it is good to see that you got back on the water. You are in our thoughts daily.

Glad you got out on the water. Keep going George don't give up on fishing..it is good therapy and time will reveal that. Time is a great healer . I know from personal experience. You are doing the right things. FB

Nice report, George. Thanks for the details. I have a feeling you have better trips coming your way.

Fishing has a way to heal especially if you catch fish. Glad to see you got out! Again please let us know if you need anything!!

My heart breaks for you old friend, It will get easier but memories will stay for a lifetime. Keep on keeping on

Hang in there and God bless you! Still trying to get my "hook-em" skills as good as yours!