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Does any one know a good divorce lawyer? My brother is going to be going through a fairly cut throat divorce soon. He lives in central IL so one in the area of Mattoon/Charleston to Champaign/Urbana and local communities would be good. Any advice would be appreciated. He is a die hard duck hunter and may not be able to go as much this season...
Don't know of one down that way, but my thoughts are with him. I wanted mine and am mostly glad I did it, but sometimes I have feelings of guilt for doing it to my sons. My ex lied and manipulated those kids so much it was unbelievable. Well, she manipulated one of them and the other would tell her to stop. The one that was manipulated by his mother is 22 years old and has major problems because of it. I tried to take the high ground and five years later am so glad for it. I have become a much better father since I left her and the boys know it. My advice to your buddy is no matter what happens, if there are kids, don't put them in the middle and don't bash their mom to them. Keep all communication to letters and emails if at all possible. Keep those emials and letters. Keep all receipts for money spent on the kids, but don't let the kids know he is doing it. Don't want the kids to think of it as keeping score.
I highly recommend he talk to all of them, before she does. If they take her on as a client, it becomes a conflict of interest.
You get what you pay for, going cheap means a less experienced attorney or one not willing to dedicate the time to the case.
Having said that, if this is going to be a nasty divorce, the attorney's will end up with all your money, house, and cars. Not directly, but you will be borrowing or selling them off to pay the fees, for you and her. I highly recommend they settle this outside of the court room and only go to teh attorney when they have it all worked out.
My younger brother (family law) and oldest sons (criminal defense) are attorneys. My younger brother sees it all the time, the couple takes a vengfull stance and the only one with money when its all said and done is the attorney. FYI= the going rate is about $250 per hour. Doesn't take long to burn through 10-30 grand.
One last thing, nobody wins in a divorce. By its very nature a divorce is a lose/lose situation. I highly recommend they seek counciling first. Every married couple goes through hard times.
amen on that
X2!!
Dan
Quote:
Originally Posted by billbob
Tell him it's gonna be cheaper to keep her!
Every marriage has problems. Work them out! It'll be so much better for all concerned.
Situations like this is exactly why I have always preached to my 21 year old kid, is that the second biggest decision they will ever make is who they choose to reproduce with, DON'T MAKE IT A BONEHEAD. I hope that things work out best for your brothers kids if there are any.
Most of all look out for the kids. This is very hard on the kids I don't care what anybody says.
Then it will be all about money. She will get more and more (for the kids) but she won't use it all on the kids.
And most of all it was already said do NOT bash the mother anywere the kids can here it. That will destroy the kids.
No matter how big a Bitch she will be. She is STILL there mother.
good luck do wish this on anyone.
do what i did. fire the lawyer and refuse to sign the papers until you get what is fair
LMAO....i needed a good chuckle....Quote:
Originally Posted by slab slayer420
The part about divorce I don't understand is why the MOTHER or WIFE always comes out ahead and the guy is left is the fricking poorhouse. One of my buddies who was married for almost 30 years comes home one day and totally out of the blue gets served papers!! He had adopted his wife's kids and raised them as his own with no support from their biological father. She gets 70 grand as her "share" of the house plus over 100,000 of investments they had accumulated. Lets not forget she gets half of his retirement which is about 2500 a month and he got half of hers which is like 600 a month. She got a new car and a huge house with no mortgage at all. He now had to refinance his paid off house and take out loans to pay her. And the funny thing is she had a BOYFRIEND!!! A GOOD LAWYER will save your butt... I am a firm believer in working things out. I am convinced most divorces can be avoided. People just get in a bad spot and think its time to split.
Generally real good advice, but each situation is different. My sister got an unfriendly judge who had just been taken to the cleaners in his own divorce. Turns out he had a thing against women in general and that included both my sister and her lawyer. To get a judge changed is like pulling teeth and all by itself can be as expensive as the divorce itself.
If counseling doesn't work, then I would suggest they try a mediation by a fair civilian they both trust and keep the lawyers out of it, if possible and it isn't always even good to try this step, until they have worked out the details between themselves, but definitely with an impartial third party presence, not alone especially if they do not get along in the first place. The more hostile this is the sooner you want a good lawyer as an advocate and adviser, and that will cost real big money.
Never put the kids in the middle, they will almost certainly be feeling like they caused it in the first place, and then do not spoil them either. Either way, if they are not dealt with as fairly and carefully as possible, you will end up with messed up kids as they grow up. They are not stupid and very quickly will find out who is honest and straight with them and which one or both can be manipulated. It is normal for kids even in healthy marriages to test the limits you have to put on them. The necessities of good parenting do not change in their basics even when the parents are no longer together, but it will certainly be harder to apply them. One should take all the honest help one can get from friends and relatives, but that is true in sound marriages anyway.