Guy Cruises Through Stop Sign
A guy cruises thru a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Austin , TX policeman.
The guy hands the cop his driver's license, insurance card, and his CHL
(Concealed Handgun License).
"Okay, Mr. Smith," the cop says, "I see your CHL permit. Are you carrying today?"
"Yes, I am."
"Well, then - better tell me what you got."
Smith says, "Well, I've got a .357 revolver in my inside coat pocket.
There's a 9mm in the glove box. And, I've got a .22 mag derringer in my right boot."
"Okay," the cop says. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, back in the trunk, there's an AR-15 and a shotgun. That's about it."
"Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range?"
"Nope."
"Well, what are you afraid of ?"
"Not a thing..!"
Final Wishes
Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation.
They are all asked, "When you're in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy says, "I'd like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I'd like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The third guy says......Scroll down.
Keep going......
The last guy replies, "I'd like to hear them say......LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!!"
