My daughter is engaged to be married, don't know what to think

Just throwing this out there for ya' all to give me advice as a father.
She will be 21 April 2, she graduated from High School, and a Cosmetology school, has a good job, guy is ok, no "red flags" he works for me now so he could have a better job and he is 24.
Funny part: I told my wife, "they aren't 'engaged' until they have a ring and a date". She told her what I said and she said to her mom "He took me to Wendys for lunch when he gave me the ring" so now they set a date, reserved a time with the judge on July 15.
I guess I'm just in a "funk" over the whole thing. I think they may be too young, even though there is no grand babies coming or anything like that..........
I've been nice about the whole thing, my wife is all forward with plans for family to get here, even my Mom is excited (at least it will get here here from NV:rolleyes:)
Is it just a chick thing? or should I be concerned????

They're young but it sounds like they have their head on straight,go with it and wish em well........it worked out well for me.

Been through it twice Quinn. You'll never find anyone good enough for you daughters but evenditually you learn to accept them.

I know where your at and how you feel ( mine got married about 19 years ago), but its out of your control so to speak.........all you can do is let her live her life and just love her and pray for her.

could be worse, the guy could be that fishing equipment stealing parasite, or a lazy non working dope head.

They are young adults you must let them lead their own lives and pray they make the right decisions and always be there for them we they need support and advice.

but CONGRATS ANYWAY:D

Man Rugs, that's a tuff one. Wish I had the right answers for you.

My daughter turned 4 years old yesterday and I've already been worried about how I will handle her dating let alone getting married. :confused:

Best of luck to you and your family my friend.

Take him fishin and maybe just lay out your expectations..then there is no worries about what you expect out of him and the kind of man your daughter deserves...i am newly married and my father in law did this to me and coming from a father it gives you a total different insight...

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Originally Posted by lhumphre

Take him fishin and maybe just lay out your expectations..then there is no worries about what you expect out of him and the kind of man your daughter deserves...i am newly married and my father in law did this to me and coming from a father it gives you a total different insight...

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Good advice! Like some else said Rugs, no one is good enough for your daughter!! Having said that, mine is 46 now and doing very well despite all
her fathers concerns. Her husband now is a fisherman and hunter. Maybe that's the qualifying question, does he fish? They'll do fine Rugs, go work on the boat or go catch some crappie and let them live their life, make mistakes like we did and enjoy each other. I'd find him another job though, too much
family is not so good!!! Enjoy, Rugs and congrats to the young couple!!!

It will be fine
Have 5 children married
21 grandchildren
2 greatchildren

Well Rugs I am new to the father business and I am dreading the day that I am in your shoes, hopefully I can be as calm about it as you are. It sounds like they have their heads on straight. If you are having second thoughts I hate to say it but it is probably best to keep them to yourself. If you push they are just going to be more determined to do it anyway. All you can do it step back and watch their lives turn out well and step in with the Dad card when necessary. Best of luck to the your couple and I doubt any part of this problem cannot be cured with a cold beer.

No matter how bad we want our children to not have to go thru the hardtimes we went thru, they always seem to do just that. The only advice I can give you is to let them learn but ALWAYS be there for them. Resist the temptation to say "I told you so" even tho you did.

I'd only be concerned if you see red flags, they have a turbulent on again, off again relationship or if they've been dating less than 1 year.

Otherwise 24 - 21 doesn't sound like a big deal to me.
I married my wife when she was 21. I was 23. It'll be 15 years this year.

Just give him the ole Father in Law wrath of Rugs pep talk.

G.

I appreciate all you have said, not much that I didn't already have figured out in my own head, I just needed to talk.
I think they will be just fine.

Rugs we have 3 sons & 2 great daughter inlaws & I'm sure the girls parents had concerns like you do & rightfully so & every thing is great with them.

Yeah, take him fishing. Shut the boat off in the middle of the lake just before sunrise, hopefully a little fog hanging around and casually ask him if he thinks anybody would pay any attention to a muffled scream and the splash of a body with a couple cinder blocks chained to it. THEN tell him it is your deepest hope that your little girl never be hurt by an irresponsible action of the man she obviously loves. That's why fishermen are so secretive about their favorite sweet spots.

Heard some comic say "let him know you've been to prison before and have no problem going back". So far I've lived thru it and haven't killed my son in law, he's a model SIL in most every way but I'm more critical of him than almost any other person. That's my problem though and not his,,,,so far. :D

yeah i am with bwill and 12pack i gave my wife her ring at a chilli place in lawrence'ks 40 yrs in june the2 knot heads my daughters married were not good enough for them but iam there for both of them 1 13 yrs the other 9 yrs good luck daughters did not fish much but all 4 grandsons are learnihg GOOD LUCK

Well, I would tell them what you thought. After that support the ever love'n heck out of them

Rugs you didn't say does he FISH ??

It will be ok rugs. there not to young. I was 20,wife was 19 when we hitched. goin on 15 yrs now. I worry about my daughter also even tho shes only 7:eek:

I have 5 girls. I always worry about them and who they are spending their time with. So many kids today have things all messed up. They meet someone they have children of their own, then they fall in love and then if they get around to it they get married.
You have to put your trust in your daughter that she feels she is doing what she thinks is right. She will be fine.
On the lighter side. Does he know how to run a lawn mower and weed eater? If not teach hime and that will give you more time to fish!!!

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Originally Posted by kazualobzerver

Heard some comic say "let him know you've been to prison before and have no problem going back".

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My one and only daughter is 14½ and I've become a fan of telling would-be suitors: "Anything you do to her, I do to you." If they treat her right, they have nothing to worry about!

Hang in there, Rugs...they've got more to worry about than you do!!

Rugs - cross your fingers and hope for the best... all the raising you've done of your daughter only gets her so far, and then she's going to start making choices of her own.

Sometimes, even in today's world, things work out - Christine and I started dating when she was 15 and I was 17. Just kids. 25yrs later, our kids are almost as old as we were when we met, and we just may be the happiest married couple I've ever met. :cool: Probably helps that she fishes!