Giving up Tequila

Printable View

03-06-2010, 09:47 AM
C N

Giving up Tequila

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy Tequila with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago,' the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked..
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well,' I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my boyfriend and me tonight.'

The homeless woman was shocked. 'Won't your boyfriend be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and Tequila!!!' :D :p
03-06-2010, 10:36 AM
majflyboy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crappie Novice

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy Tequila with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago,' the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked..
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well,' I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my boyfriend and me tonight.'

The homeless woman was shocked. 'Won't your boyfriend be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and Tequila!!!' :D :p

:);):)
03-06-2010, 10:58 AM
frank lawhead

funny--:):):):eek:
03-06-2010, 11:11 AM
creekslick

That's a good to start a Saturday on.
03-06-2010, 11:23 AM
tritonman

That was pretty darn funny there CN.....can't let the wife see that one tho, might give her even more ideas
03-06-2010, 11:54 AM
C N

I hate to shop. :( I do visit the salon regularly though and we've already discussed Tequila so all is well. :D
03-06-2010, 12:06 PM
"G"

I don't mind shopping....as long as its at BPS. :D I don't need no dadgummed salon and sure don't need any dadgummed tequila or anything else...I am goofy enough as it is, Lol.
03-06-2010, 12:08 PM
C N

Quote:

Originally Posted by G-3 Fisherman

I don't mind shopping....as long as its at BPS. :D I don't need no dadgummed salon and sure don't need any dadgummed tequila or anything else...I am goofy enough as it is, Lol.

BPS will do in a pinch, but I prefer Cabelas myself. I'm on a first name basis with them at Cabelas. LOL Please pass the frozen margaritas. Thanks! :)
03-06-2010, 12:41 PM
satdoc1

OK Maj the woman done spoke , were ya payin attention?
03-06-2010, 12:45 PM
tritonman

I Done Tolt

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crappie Novice

BPS will do in a pinch, but I prefer Cabelas myself. I'm on a first name basis with them at Cabelas. LOL Please pass the frozen margaritas. Thanks! :)

you to leave them thangs alone and what happens ifn you don't...when you gonna listen to me. We ain't married so it will be ok if you listen to me, only wifes of fellers are not supposed to listen
03-06-2010, 12:46 PM
majflyboy

Quote:

Originally Posted by satdoc1

OK Maj the woman done spoke , were ya payin attention?

Got it covered sat.:cool:
03-06-2010, 12:49 PM
C N

For Nessa

Nessa must be sleeping in this a.m. :D

YouTube - Joe Nichols - Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

I think this must be what Triton is referring to.
03-06-2010, 12:58 PM
tritonman

that's it!
03-06-2010, 07:35 PM
Billbob

are you sure that wasnt cn???????????????
03-06-2010, 09:29 PM
majflyboy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crappie Novice

Nessa must be sleeping in this a.m. :D

YouTube - Joe Nichols - Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

I think this must be what Triton is referring to.

Gee wizz CN, just watched that video, was that you at the end?????:D
03-06-2010, 09:34 PM
majflyboy

Kitten, you'd better wake me up early in the morning , you know, tickle me like you do, 'cause I'm going fishing. You can go with me if you can be ready by 0600. Otherwise just roll over & I'll see you in a little while.:D
03-06-2010, 09:41 PM
Hook One

Ohmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
03-06-2010, 09:51 PM
majflyboy

Oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!:D
03-07-2010, 01:08 PM
C N

Quote:

Originally Posted by majflyboy

Gee wizz CN, just watched that video, was that you at the end?????:D

Let me go look. Whew! Nope, not me. It was grandma from the beginning of the video. :eek: You scared me Maj! :eek: I may look older than my age, but I look a darn sight younger and better than that!!! :D
03-07-2010, 01:11 PM
C N

Quote:

Originally Posted by majflyboy

Kitten, you'd better wake me up early in the morning , you know, tickle me like you do, 'cause I'm going fishing. You can go with me if you can be ready by 0600. Otherwise just roll over & I'll see you in a little while.:D

:eek:

It's your story. Stick to it! ;)

I'll have you know I get up at 4:30 AM Mon-Friday and on fishing days get up at 4 a.m. No rest for the wicked they say. :)