OLD IS WHEN (just for you SATDOC)
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
Here is a little more to think about !!!
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'
I'll make sure and have a Sippy cup
at Camp with a screw on top so Sat can't open it without breaking it. LOL. All I got to do is look for any evidense of JB Weld on it to see if he's messed with it. BWAAA HAHAHA
