For 1Weezer, "Big Shug"

1Weezer,

You are absolutely right! How could I forget about "Big Shug"? A classic all by itself.

Again folks, copied from another forum, for your enjoyment;

"Big Shug"

One of the strangest things I've ever seen was "Big Shug". I was in the Navy at the time and on shore leave in Norfolk with a few buddies. We headed down the strip and came across a place called "Clancey's" with a large sign out front advertising "Clancey's Home of Big Shug, Worlds only 400 pound topless dancer!". If that sign wasn't written for us, I don't believe there ever was one!
We walked in, grabbed a table and ordered a round. The rock music dejur' was blaring in the background as our eyes scanned every inch of the room searching for evidence of the newest wonder of the world, as advertised on the billboard. Before us lay an elevated stage, with lighted columns, flashing accents and, of course, mirrors. Beside and behind us were tables full of guys (mostly sailors), all with the same twinkle in their eyes, like children in front of a Christmas tree awaiting the nod to open the gifts.

Within 20 minutes our second pitcher of Bud draft was placed before us, and we started feeling in a real "Big Shug" kinda mood. Led Zepplin's "Whole Lotta Love" faded into that base intensive Bee Gee's disco song from Saturday Night Fever, as a roar started to arise from the crowd at the far end of the stage. Whoopin' and hollerin' and my heart lifted into my throat in anxious expectation. Stage décor began to move, lights flickered and the thundering of two hooves filled my senses. We were not disappointed, for there, before us, pranced the most spectacular sight ever to cross the vision of mortal man! Big Shug…all 400 pounds of her…every Jell-O jiggler, mashed potato, cauliflowered inch of her exposed for our wonderment! I pried my eyes from this dancin' prancin' hunk of (stuff) long enough to scan the audience. I saw no less than 150 sets of eyes bugged out and mouths agape. Not a single beer mug was lifted from the table during the start of this spectacle.

Fifteen minutes of "the Shugger" moving, shaking, turning and gyrating to the music, flew by seemingly in seconds. I swear no one blinked…and then…off the stage she bounded! Down to the level of we mortal men she came, with an agility I myself could not muster. Within several steps she was directly in front of OUR TABLE! 150 gasps arose simultaneously, as the Shug knelt down and flopped both of her exposed, rotund "sugar sacks" over the back of the empty wooden chair across the table from us. With a most elegant and graceful move, she stood up, fully erect, arms straight out and wooden chair levitating, seemingly in space. Cheers, applause and stomping feet roared like thunder. Shug was not done though…she picked up four empty beer mugs and placed them one at a time onto the seat of the suspended chair…and, with the moves of the most seasoned bartender, picked up a full pitcher and poured the four empty mugs full. This was too much to take! We were hysterical!

The music picked up again in perfect syncopation with the movement of the Shug (much kudos to the stage crew, who did a fabulous job for very little recognition!). Hips rotated and leg flesh "foooped" as Shug paraded around our table, offering the full mugs to each of us (more cheers and hooahs), which we all grabbed without reservation (or pride).

The entire show lasted about an hour and culminated in a haze (either from extreme astonishment, or extreme intoxication, I can't remember which). I do recall, however, purchasing a "Clancey's" tee shirt and getting Big S' to personally autograph it. I cherished it throughout the remainder of my Naval career, but, somehow it disappeared after I got married. My wife said that it was stolen by burglars one day while we were working in the back yard, and had left the front door unlocked. Since nothing else in the house was touched, I can only assume that the burglars had knowledge of the legend of Big Shug of Clancey's.

LOL good stuff!