The meaning of what we say
You’re at a party, laughing and joking with a few of your close friends. They have known you for quite a while. They know how you act. They know how your sarcastic mind works. They understand your mannerisms. You’re telling a story and you seem to have a rather large crowd gathering. Everyone enjoys it. Or so you think.
A day later you receive a message from a friend. What did you do? What did you say? So and so is calling you a complete jerk! Who is so and so? I’m sure this situation has happened to a lot of us. I know it has happened to me.
You come to find out later that the person in question was not actually part of that large group of people that were gathered around you. They were instead an innocent bystander whose ears caught a portion of what you were saying. None of the conversation was bad. It didn’t contain any racial slurs or sexual overtones. Because this person doesn’t understand your sarcasm or your voice infliction, they are left to their own imagination in regards to the type of person you are.
Recently, the term “Political Correctness” has come to light. PC is so big right now that most of us cannot go a day without hearing it in some form or fashion. This term is due, in large part, to social media and the fact that people have instant information at their fingertips. It is very hard to convey sarcasm with typing text. I’ve often thought of coming up with a “sarcasm” font just so that people would know what I was saying. Until that time, we have to very mindful and careful of what we say. More importantly, we have to be careful of how we say it.
Many of us our deep rooted in our political and religious affiliations. We should not have to defend ourselves in regards to these things. As adults, we should be able to carry on conversations in regards to these topics and also have different and varying opinions. The problem however is when someone doesn’t know you or understand you. The things you say can oftentimes be considered racist, sexist, or something completely different. More importantly, they can feel like a disagreement of such topics is a direct attack on their thoughts, feelings, or beliefs.
We have to be mindful of what we say and how we say it. Especially when there are people around you that do not know you. A comment that was made by one person to another, as innocent as it might be, can be misconstrued by others. If those people have not met you, or have just met you for the first time, those comments can be taken completely out of context.
There isn’t a reason why we cannot have discussions on certain topics based on our thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Before we consider having those conversations, we need to keep in mind the company we are in. Get a feel for the people around you. Get to know them a little bit. You may come to understand that those are not the people you should be having those specific conversations around. Two people that have known each other for a while can have a completely different conversation than those you have met for the very first time.
Keep this in mind the next time you are at a large gathering or around a group of people that you do not know very well or have met for the first time. Although some might consider you to be the life of the party, other people might just think you’re a jerk!
