Story: World's Greatest Fishing Line
A few weeks back I was notified that I had won a prize for recruiting people to join this organization. It was a $240 dollar spool of fishing line. I know right, who the heck buys a spool of fishing line for $240 dollars? Not me. But hay, if it is free then I feel good about having it.
After a few sleepless nights awaiting my new line it finally arrives. It is a 3000 yard spool of what could only be described as the best stuff on the planet (based on the price). I think I have come to the realization that it was made with gold fibers mined from the pirate infested Jungles of Guiana South America. I also believe that the gold inner lining was encased in woven chest hairs of some long lost Aboriginal tribe in Australia. Furthermore, the spool it came on was created using nothing but the finest injection molded plastics created in a U.S factory where all the worker are union and make $75.00 an hour. The box was nothing short of the finest craftsmanship I have ever been witness to. It had a glossy white sheen, no labels, and appeared to be made of what can only be described as "virgin cardboard". It was all an impressive sight to behold.
I find myself in awe as I stand there with the finest fishing line ever known to have existed. You know, the kind that every man wishes he could afford. Not just because it will definitely catch more fish, but also because the instant you own this line you are propelled to the top level tournament pro status. All other tournament fisherman will automatically bow their heads when you walk buy. You will catch them whispering to one another; “There goes that guy. You know, the one with that expensive fishing line. Well, I guess we are all fishing for second place now”. This stuff is just that good!
I sat in my chair and pondered my luck. Am I really worthy of owning a fishing line of this caliber? Am I ready for all the fame and stardom that this will bring? After much deliberation, I decided that I was just not ready to be thrust in to that kind of celebrity status. I’ll give someone else the opportunity to become the world’s greatest fisherman simply by owning this 3000 yard spool manufactured to create legends. Besides, I could use the money to buy 10 spools of the stuff I normally use. Not to mention fill my boat with gas, get a bite to eat, and take two trips to the lake for that kind of coin.
I gently sat the box in the back of my UTV. Not because I thought that just having it in my presence would somehow alter my abilities and push me to the next level but simply because it was the best place to store it without losing it.
On Saturday, Brian decides that he needs to burn some of my garbage. Who am I to argue with a buddy of mine taking a chore off from my hands and creating a fiery inferno that any man would be jealous of? I did not bear witness to the awesome display of pyrotechnics but the smoke still billowing from the burn pit some five hours later was evidence enough of the massive scale of his efforts.
Later in the evening, while sitting in my chair, I decided to research that little box of gold I had tucked away in the bed of the UTV. Let me be honest, I was a little lazy and didn’t feel like walking the 28 steps to check out exactly what make and model the line was. Besides, I should be able to search something like “best fishing line ever” and a picture of my box should appear. Heck, a picture of me next to the box should appear just for me having it in my possession. After a few minutes I look over at Brian and ask, Hey, do you remember what kind of line that was in the mule? “What line” he says. The box that was in the back of the mule. White box, no markings. “There wasn’t a box in the mule”. Yes there was! You didn’t burn it did you? “How do I know if I burned it if I didn’t know it was there”? Well, you piled up a bunch of boxes in the back, went out to the pit and threw them all in. Is it possible you burned it? And the look on his face was priceless!!! I’ll give you $50 bucks for it.
At this point in time I could have been angry, mentioned the fact that it was a $240 box of line that had given me some sort of folk lore fishing status. I could have made up some long winded remark about gold strands, chest hairs, union jobs, and awesome cardboard. Instead I said: I wonder what is on TV!
I did not take his $50 bucks. I did make him buy lunch the next day though.
