“When your cable goes out, you can’t study game film.
When you can’t study game film, you lose to Alabama.
When you lose to Alabama, you get depressed.
When you get depressed, you buy a Harley.
When you buy a Harley, you meet hot, young ex-volleyball players.
When you meet hot, young ex-volleyball players, you go on joy rides.
When you go on joy rides, you end up in a roadside ditch.
Don’t end up in a roadside ditch.”
