No Sense of Humor

Breeding Bulls

A man and his wife went to the Missouri State Fair agricultural show and one of the first
exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went uo to the first pen and there was a
sign attached that said, "This Bull Mated 50 Times Last Year." The wife playfully nudged him and
said, "He mated 50 times last year. That's almost once a week."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This Bull Mated 150 Times
Last Year." The wife gave him a healthy jab and said, "WOW---That's more than twice a week!.......
You could learn a lot from him." They walked to the third pen and it had a sign that said, "
THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR." His wife was so excited that her elbow nearly
broke his ribs. She said, "That's once a day...You could REALLY learn something from this one."

He looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow."

His condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should eventually make a full
recovery.

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MAN OF THE HOUSE

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, You Can Be THE Man of Your House.

Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to
his wife, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is the '
Law.'

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, bring it to me, and when I am done eating my
meal, you will clear the dishes and serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going
to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want!

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will put on soothing music,
wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. You will massage my feet and hands to
relieve any last bit of tension so that I can sleep like a baby. Then tomorrow, guess who's going
to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The damn funeral director would be my first guess, unless I have your ass
cremated."

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Subject: When I'm older

When we get older we think differently don't we?

This is a touching story. Just when you have lost faith in human
kindness, someone who teaches at Kean Elementary in Wooster , Ohio forwards the
following letter:

The letter was sent to the Principal's office after the school had
sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady received a new radio at the
lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a
credit to all humankind. Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today.

Dear Kean Elementary:
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens
luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the
Aged.
All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to
know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old
forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio,
but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she
was napping.

The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a thousand pieces.
It was awful and she was in tears.. Her distress over the broken
radio touched me and I knew this was God's way of answering my prayers.
She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my butt.
Thank you for giving me that opportunity.
Sincerely,
Agnes Baker