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Laugh a day thread
Maybe 49er is right. Afterall laughter is the best of all medicines. Remember,you have to grow old,growing up is optional.
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman from Kentucky arrived and bet twenty-thousand
dollars
($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope y'all don't
mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and
yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed...
"YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her
clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other
dumfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
Moral: Not all Kentuckians are stupid, and not all blondes are dumb;
but all men are men.
:D:)Thumbs Up
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Mind if I try to keep it going?
FLORIDA S T A T E * T R O O P E R
A senior citizen from the Villages drove his brand new Corvette convertible
out of the dealership in Ocala . Taking off down the road, he pushed it to
80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, lights
flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.
Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled
over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to
the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30
minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a
reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a
Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.
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One for Wednesday
A young boy had just gotten his Driver's permit and asked his father
if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son. "You bring your grades
up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair
cut and we'll talk about the car."
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the
offer and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You
brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying
your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you didn't get your hair cut."
The young man paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad, I've been
thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that
Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long
hair and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair.
To this his father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked
everywhere they went?"
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Skinny Dipping
An elderly man in Florida, had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back.
It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange
and lime trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, to look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and
laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
He frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up Ron said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Some older men can still think fast.
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Ya'll are doing good, keep it up.LOL
