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Today's Funny
Welfare Check
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know...., I just
HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur
and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in
his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected
to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather
awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to
satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a
rather strong sex drive."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bull(*&^*' me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."
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Bout normal, Want a job but dont want to have to really WORK AT IT!
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Illegal resident comes to town looking for work after a few days he cant find any work and is getting hungry.He notices a couple of dewds holding signs,will work for food.He makes him a sign "will work for food". Wasnt longsome guy pulls up and told him to hop in he had some work and would be glad to feed him. The guy takes him home and gave him a pair of hedge clippers and a rake and told him to trim the hedges and clean up and he would start dinner. Well it wasnt long the guyknocks on the back door and said he was pinnished. The homeowner looked and was suprised that he finished so fast. He said dinner will be ready in 20 min. so heres a bucket of paint and a brush,go out front and paint the Porch, will a few minutes later the guy knocks on the door and said i pinnnished the homeowner said wow that was fast and the dewd said si but that not a "Porch its a BMW".
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