Retirement

[SteveJ]

Question:Howmany days in week? Answer:6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question:When is a retiree'sbedtime? Answer:Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question:How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer:Only one, but it might take all day. Question:What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer:There is not enough time to get everything done. Question:Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer:The term comes with a 10% discount. Question:Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? Answer:Tied shoes. Question:Why do retirees count pennies? Answer:They are the only ones who have the time. Question:What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer:NUTS! Question:Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer:They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Question:What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer:Normal. Question:What is the best way to describeretirement? Answer:The never ending Coffee Break. Question:What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer:If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. Question:Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer:He is too polite to tell the whole truth. And, my very favorite.... QUESTION:What do you do all week? Answer:Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

["G"]

Ha ha....everybody always asks me.....What are you going to do today? I always tell them nothing and I am not going to start on that untill after lunch

[Tn Johnboy]

Biggest gripe I have at being retired is.... I never get a day off.

["G"]

Biggest gripe I have at being retired is.... I never get a day off.

This is what I do on my day off lol

[Iwannafish]

Rub it in, why don't ya.......Grumble grumble grumble....

[chaunc]

What I like about retirement is I don't HAVE to fish on Saturday and sunday in a wind and rain storm just because they're my only days off for the next month.

[SteveJ]

A few more, did I already post this, can't remember!



The nice thing about
being senile is
you can hide your
own Easter eggs
and have fun finding
them.

I've sure gotten
old!


I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,


new
knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.


I'm half blind,




can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,


take 40
different medications that


make me dizzy, winded, and subject
to blackouts.


Have bouts with dementia.


Have poor
circulation;


hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.


Can't
remember if I'm 85 or 92.


Have lost all my friends. But, thank
God, I still have my driver's license.

An elderly woman
decided to prepare her will and


told her preacher she had two
final requests.


First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,




she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart


'Wal-Mart?' the
preacher exclaimed.


'Why Wal-Mart?'


'Then I'll be sure my
daughters visit me twice a week'
My memory's not as
sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's
not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent
sagging?


Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you
start making the same noises as your coffee
maker.

[Billbob]

lol

[crappiebob]

Rub it in, why don't ya.......Grumble grumble grumble....

X2!

[Hook One]

I agree all the way.