"I can't catch fush"............Yanks Bananas fault

"The fush ain't bitin'..........Yanks fault

"The Yank outfished me"..........Yanks fault

"The wind's blowin' too hard"........Yanks fault

"The sun ain't shinin'"..........Yanks fault

"I broke a nail".......Yanks fault

"I didn't know I was s'posed to keep fuel in my tank".......Yanks fault

"I didn't fig'r I'd have a flat, so I used my spare as a tree swing"......Yanks fault

"Thought if I just added a 2nd hole in the hull, the boat would self bail"........Yanks fault

Anybody got any corns, blisters, ex-wives rakin' em over the coals in Divorce Court, dog just die, kids need shoes, mom-in-law coming to visit, bad haircut, dead cell battery, only missed winning the Powerball Lotto by all 6 numbers? Hell.............I'm sure it's the Yanks fault.

You know....seems to my like some of ya'lls luck is a wee bit better when I near. Might just wanna think on that

Again, you'll miss me when I'm gone.

At least may Speck will be sad.....'cause then everything will go back to bein' HIS fault