HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM



1: Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of men's boots, size 14-16.



2: Place them on your front porch along with a copy of GUNS & AMMO magazine.



3: Put 4 large dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.



4: Leave a note on your door that reads:



Bubba,



Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmie Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be
back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this
morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was
hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of them in the
house. You best wait outside till we get back.



Cooter