A few funny ones

["G"]

A husband and wife are shopping when the man picks up a
case of beer and sticks in into the shopping cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the
wife.

'They're on sale, only $10.00 for 24 cans', he
says. 'Put them back. We can't afford it,'
says the wife and they carry on shopping ...

A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20.00 jar of face
cream and sticks it into the cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man,
'It's my face cream. It makes me look
beautiful,' she says.

The man replies... 'SO DOES 24 CANS OF BEER AND
IT'S HALF THE PRICE'

["G"]

Dear Abby,

My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let the kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest.

Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us.
The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more.

Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ. Then he goes and visits mosques.

Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?

Signed, Lost in DC



Dear Lost:

Stop whining, Michelle. You can divorce the jerk any time you want.
The rest of us are stuck with him for two more years!

["G"]

A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which.

A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one.

[maachuu]

G3 you just aint right :D

[C N]

A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which.

A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one.

You promised you wouldn't tell that, G3!

LMBO!!

Good ones!!!!

[majflyboy]

Thanks G, needed some humor.