Monday Funny

[torch]

Arkansas Declares War on the USA


>>
>>President Barack Obamawas in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
>>
>>"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they
>>shall mount up with wings of eagles." (Isaiah 40:31)
>>
>>"Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented southern voice said.
>>
>>"This is Archie, down here at Joe's Crab Shack, Possum Grape,
>>Arkansas. I
am callin' to
>>
>>tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
>>
>>"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news !
>>How big is your army?"
>>
>>"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is
>>myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole
>>dart team from Gizzer's - that makes eight!"
>>
>>
>>Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in
>>my army waiting to move on my command."
>>
>>
>>"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
>>
>>Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is
>>still on!
>>
>>We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
>>
>>
>>"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.
>>
>>"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
>>
>>President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000
>>tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my
>>army to one and a half
>>
>>million since we last spoke."
>>
>>
>>"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
>>
>>Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Obama, the war
>>is still
>
>>on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified
>>Harold's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
>>four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
>>
>>
>>Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell
>>you Archie
>
>>that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
>>complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites.
>>And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
>>
>>
>>"Oh Lord," said Archie, "l'll have ta call you back."
>>
>>Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! I am
>>sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
>>
>>
>>
>>"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack . "Why the sudden change of heart?"
>>
>>Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
>>chat

>>over
>
>>a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed
>>two million prisoners."
>>
>>
>> AN ARKIE'S CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
>>
>>IN GOD WE TRUST
>>
>>God Bless you and God bless America!

[creekslick]

Torch the funny thing is there is a Possum Grape, AR. Don't think they have a Joe's Crab Shack though. Liquor Store is about it.