The irish prostitute

[Blackhawk19]

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her heavily.

'Where have ye been all this time, child?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?
Why didn't ye call?
Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff... Dad.... I became a prostitute.'

'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad.... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a £5 million savings certificate.

For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'

'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'

'Oh! My Goodness!
Ye scared me half to death, girl.
I thought ye said Protestant.
Come here and give yer old Dad a hug...

[RetiredRR]

In the ears of the beholder, smart dad the lassie has. Could she purchase a hearing aid for dad now? LOL

[DENNIS WILLIS]

Thats funny Hawk.Heard one on Joel Osteen the other day, Two baseball players were talking about Heaven and were wondering if there was baseball in heaven and they said that the first one there would come back and tell the other one is there was baseball in heaven, well one died and came back and his friend ask if there was baseball in heaven. The dead player said I've got good news and bad news, he said yes there is baseball in heaven is the good news but the bad news is you are scheduled to picth on Thursday..