An old lady dies and goes to heaven.

She ' s chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates

When all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

' Don ' t worry about that, ' says St. Peter,

' It ' s only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for the wings. '

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation .

Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams. 'Oh my God, ' says the old lady, ' now what is happening? '

' Not to worry, ' says St. Peter,

' She ' s just having her head drilled to fit the halo. '

' I can ' t do this, ' says the old lady, ' I ' m going to hell. '

' You can ' t go there, ' says St. Peter.

' You ' ll be raped and taken advantage of. '


' Maybe so, ' says the old lady, ' but I ' ve already got the holes for that.. '