> The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
> chemistry mid term.
>
> The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it
> with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
> pleasure of enjoying it as well :
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
> heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
> cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
> to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
> they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
> Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
> souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
> the world today.
>
> Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
> religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
> religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
> project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
> we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
> look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
> that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
> volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
> breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
> then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it?
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
> that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into
> account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
> true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
> over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
> follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
> extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
> being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
>
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.