To all you thiefs out there.....beware of the armed citizen

[Crappie Executioner]

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE THIS IS FUNNY!

Posted to Craig's List / Personals:


To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 A M EST. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend threatening our lifes. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment, I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare footed since I made you leave your your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto...An armed society makes for a more civil society!

[Pomoxis]

Amen

[DMW1960]

Executioner May I Say I Take My Hat Off To You! Go To The Head Of The Class Son! This Is A Good One! Amen!

Fact Is Since You Started This I Will Tell My Little Story From Last Night Here In Springfield, Mo. I Screwed Up My Cell Phone Some How Yesterday Afternoon. So Wife And I Went And Got Me A New One. Well Got Home Finally About Dark I Started Looking Around And Decided I Needed Another Ac Charger For My New Phone. So I Told The Wife I Would Just Run Over To Wal-mart On East Kearney And Get Me One And Then Another Couple For My Pickup And Her Explorer. Ran In The Store Got My Stuff And Was Coming Back Out To My Pickup. Now Granted I Was Parked Under Lights Close To The Door. As I Was Walking Towards My Pickup I Kind Of Caught This Guy Walking Across The Parking Lot Not Really Towards My Direction But Headed West Like I Was. He Was About 40 Yards Away From Me. Well I Had The Bag And You Know How You Open The Drivers Side Door And Throw The Bag In The Other Seat. Next Thing I Know This Guy Is Almost On Top Of Me Maybe 20 Feet Away From Me. He Is Asking Me If I Had Any Extra Money Because He Was Out Looking For Money For Diapers For His Kid. He Said Something About He Didn't Get Paid Until Tomorrow. I Turned Around And I Kind Of Put My Hand On My Gun Holster With My Little Tactical 9 Mm Smith & Wesson Model 3913. Told Him I Didn't Have Any Extra Money And He Was Darned Lucky To Even Have A Job! Because I Have Been Without Full Time Employement Since Nov 2008. And I Told Him If He Had Kept His Tool In His Pants He Wouldn't Have His Current Problem. As I Was Doing This I Was Hopping Up On The Running Board And Backing Into My Seat In The Truck. After I Told Him That He Kind Of Got The Heck Out Of There.

I Don't Know If This Guy Was On The Level Or Not. I Got Into My Pickup, Locked The Doors And Started It. I Watched Him Walk Across Applebee's Parking Lot Towards Glenstone. And He Wasn't Letting Any Grass Grow Under His Feet.

So I Almost Kind Of Had A Little Brown Spot In My Pants Last Night! Because You Don't Expect Someone Walking Up Towards You In A Dark Parking Lot At Wal-mart. And I Normally Keep A Couple Of Loaded Guns At The Front Door. And As I Was Walking Out Last Night To Leave I Almost Started To Not Pick One Up. Figured Heck It Would Just Be A Fast Trip To Wal-mart. Then I Thought What The Heck Better Safe Than Sorry. Glad I Was Packing Last Night!

You Know I Thought About It Last Night If He Was Really Needing The Money I Would Have Given Him My Last Dollar If I Would Have Known It Was Going To A Kid. But When You Walk Up Fast On Someone Getting Into Their Truck In Wal-mart Parking Lot After Dark Just How Real Could It Have Been? Yes I Carry A Gun, Licensed And Legal But I Was Thinking As I Watched Him Walk Off Fast Just How Close Things Could Have Been Different. I Don't Want To Have To Shoot Someone But I Will If I Have To Protect Myself!

[Crappie Executioner]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Close call for sure. Glad to hear things worked out for the better. Sounds like he was looking to "jack" someone. It is a great peace of mind to carry concealed ain't it? God bless.

[DMW1960]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Close call for sure. Glad to hear things worked out for the better. Sounds like he was looking to "jack" someone. It is a great peace of mind to carry concealed ain't it? God bless.

THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME AT THIS WAL-MART WITH IN THE LAST YEAR.