YOU KNOW ONE OF THESE DAYS ONE OF US IS GOING TO GET KNOCKED IN THE HEAD BY OUR WIFE AND EVERYONE WILL KNOW WHY IT HAPPENED! LOL!Quote:
Originally Posted by old fuzzy
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YOU KNOW ONE OF THESE DAYS ONE OF US IS GOING TO GET KNOCKED IN THE HEAD BY OUR WIFE AND EVERYONE WILL KNOW WHY IT HAPPENED! LOL!Quote:
Originally Posted by old fuzzy
Prolly cuz there was a fight started!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D
Bulletman
another one.
THE WIFE SAID FOR ANNIVERSY(sp) GIFT SHE WANTED SOMETHING NICE THAT WOULD GO FROM 0 TO 200 IN 4 SECONDS!!
SOOOOO I GOT HER A DIGITAL SCALE
THEN THE FIGHT STARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Buddy's got a litle farm up in the Cedar Fork part of the county, and he wentto feed on mornin early and a feller came walkin outta the timber with a turker over his shoulder. My buddy asked him, "Where'd ya get him?" The feller said it was just up on the hill, and my buddy said he didn't hear no shot. "Well," the feller said, "'I can REALLLLY call these birds good and you can see I ain't so pretty. So I get in the bushes, call em in real close, jump out ayellin like crazy and I 'ugly 'em to death." "Used to take my wife along, but she tore 'em too bad."
THEN THE FIGHT STARTED, as they say.
My wife was standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and says to me, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
So I reply, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
THEN THE FIGHT STARTED!
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly." St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge." Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon." St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari." A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands, crying. "What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You are set forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."
And Y'all wonder why I keep her in the boat with me...
The other day at dinner, my son asked me, "Dad, how much does it cost to get married?"
I responded, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Good thing I had on my runnin' shoes. :D