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True Mississippi Blonde
A blonde holding a baby walked into a hospital and asked to use the baby scale.
"Sorry," said the nurse, "but our baby scale is broken. However, we can work out the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first."
"That won't work," said the blonde.
"Why not?" asked the nurse,mystified.
"Because," said the blonde. "I'm not the mother - I'm the aunt.":Rofl
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Eli is a better quarterback than Peyton Manning
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I ran out of deodorant last week. I've been using my wife's this whole time. But don't tell anybody. It's Secret.
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Little Eddy and his mom were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom.
“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.”
“It’s not?” Eddy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”
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I wonder if Aliens are going to fish for us. I hope not, I am attracted to Chartreuse.
