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Thread: Pointy Faced Devils

  1. #1
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    Default Pointy Faced Devils


    My wife calls them "pointy faced devils". I call them ISIG (idiot squirrels in garden) not to be confused with ISIS. Every year we work hard in our garden and can't wait for that first tomato to ripen. We check it every day in anticipation. When it ripens we get out the white bread and Duke's mayo for a delicious tomato sandwich. That is as good as it gets. Not so fast pilgrim! The day before we planned to pick the first tomato we discovered that an ISIG pointy faced devil had gnawed and ruined our first tomato.

    We were irate and my wife said kill'em. I have no choice. I'm forced to act. I apply the skills learned from the movie "American Sniper". I set up a sniper position in the spare bedroom. I take the screen out of the window and stay back in the shawdows instead of sticking the sniper rifle outside the window. I've discovered that when you eliminate an ISIG combatant it takes the rest of them about 2-3 days to forget why they should not eat tomatoes. Today was the third day and they forgot. I am patient and I have been watching for enemy activity. Today I was able to avenge the gnawed tomato with a 40 yard head shot. Now for the record, I am not a wanton killer of ISIG members. I do follow strict rules of engagement:

    1) I must use .22 cal. or smaller. No shotguns (this may change)
    2) The ISIG must be caught in the act before action is taken (this may change)
    3) No killing on Sunday (this may change also)

    Photos below are the tools of my craft, the battle zone and a deceased enemy combatant.

    Now I'm waiting for two things: a break in the weather so I can tend to the crappie, and a fresh tomato sandwich.
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    Great post!! I thought there for a minute I was reading a war story adventure from the Middle East!!
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    hotwater the woods look like the may be a lot of them I killed five one day and they are that meet more in the pecan trees, good lucky.

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    Quote Originally Posted by armyman View Post
    Great post!! I thought there for a minute I was reading a war story adventure from the Middle East!!
    Airborne Armyman!
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    Quote Originally Posted by hobo View Post
    hotwater the woods look like the may be a lot of them I killed five one day and they are that meet more in the pecan trees, good lucky.
    You are right Hobo. I am outnumbered and surrounded.

  6. #6
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    papasage is offline Crappie.com 2011 Man of the Year & Moderator GA * Crappie.com Supporter
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    putting meat with the potatoes .
    retired and now i will always fish
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    Redge is offline Crappie.com Legend - 2017 Man Of The Year
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    Fried squirrel biscuts and gravy with fresh tomatoe on the side!!
    Proud Member of Team Geezer!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hotwater View Post
    Airborne Armyman!
    Hooah!! Sound tactics!!
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    Pointy Faced Devils Update

    The battle has intensified. Yesterday evening I saw another pointy faced devil in the garden but I could not get a shot. Again this morning I saw one headed that way. I said under my breath "don't do it" (like the movie you know). I let him cross "no squirrel land" and enter the garden (first rule of engagement). Once he was in the garden I couldn't get a shot as they have learned to stay off the fence posts and remain in the heavy vegetation. Rather than take a bad shot I waited. Finally, he decided he had eaten enough blackberries and it was time to make a run back across "no squirrel land". He ran out of the garden and made his dash for cover. He made one mistake. He stopped. I fired and missed. He hesitated and I fired again. I winged him with the second shot. It took 3 more shots to put down the tough little booger for good. Upon further examination I determined he had been hit 3 times.
    I don't like this killing business. C'est la guerre.

    Further bulletins will be posted.
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    I hear you brother, I have to many squirrels too. They mess with my tomatoes and the stupid birds peck my tomatoes. My wife is urging me to start a war and I guess I will have too. I can't shoot a .22 in my sub-division so I will have to attack with a air rifle. I am afraid they will start chewing on my roof and get in my attic. Good luck and remember: one shot, one kill.
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